!fanfic: Leave your door open Title: Leave your door open
Betareader:
el_defe
, whom I thank as always. ♥ Fandom:
RPF - AC Fiorentina Characters: Alberto Gilardino Stevan Jovetic, Adrian Mutu, Riccardo Montolivo ![[info]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_sMteG_60_-xkaWTQMwmKfypPJjsqq9BEf3KGj1bElzya6zLs1ATTh5cYDfP0mO4uaijYaDSDqSyJsJSt0MT7KLogBjtrw_6gnXC-8LRV6x7wJLqg=s0-d)
guest star. Rating: VM18. Warning: Angst
like rain, What If not I would like to bring to pass, Slash to top it all off.
Disclaimer: This fanfiction not for profit. You do not want to offend or be prejudicial against real people described. Nothing told in this fanfiction has really happened but it is fictional, so do not pretend to give a truthful picture of events or personalities.
Word Count:
9862w. (
fiumidiparole ) Notes:
I have clearly lost any ability to write stuff joyful and happy, so I just try to get as they are and be patient, and is a period infamissimo nclpf. miss_hale ![[info]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_szvQ5SsMswytZRZIFCQS9KQoY_bf1V41AeZaqOvIOZL8vTp2HdBGPJ-_f9EJzE47lQmY4Wn1zP3vniVi6DcDAC5IMUSYrVirPgg6oRwMRy2C64VduBsA=s0-d)
that lover. ♥ LEAVE YOUR DOOR OPEN - I just need to crack to slide inside again -
This is the way you left me, I'm Not Pretending
. No hope, no love, no glory, No happy ending . (Happy Ending - Mika) "I still can not understand why you're here." Richard sighed, crossing his arms to his chest and completely ignoring the glass in front of him. In response, Alberto looks at him straight in the eye, with no trace of fear, regret or resentment. It strange to see him serene, after the controversies of recent times in the locker room when everything seemed to be made but they had not reached a single word from his lips. The words came later, it came far too many, from interviews, newspaper more or less reliable, sports tabloid (which Siniša those lining the desk drawer, which covers the floor or on rainy days, not transform the locker room in a quagmire), but never directly to them. Even Richard, who also is the captain and feels rightly be regarded as a friend, has never had a single word from his lips.
"Officially, I'm taking advantage of the break for the National to settle the final details of the sale the old apartment here in Florence, "sighs Alberto, who instead has his glass firmly in hand and takes a sip before continuing. "Unofficially, I have suspended that I want to solve."
"Stay away from us." Riccardo hard-nosed about this time, without any trace of kindness that has permeated his actions since the time when Albert called him, few hours earlier, saying he was coming to Florence and that was the first person that came to mind, calling out for a drink. Simply, he has no desire to play: it has half a mind to what may be the unresolved which led Albert to Florence, or rather
who they are. And, since it knows it has no plans to leave to find something that Alberto is not his problem anymore, so as not going to let it ruin a balance that still put us three months to rebuild - which is not that the game, but that the complicated web of relationships that binds them together as with glue, the interweaving of which Alberto has cut parts without even bothering to do so without the slightest attention. "We do not need you, in addition to our problems. In fact, I do not know why I agreed to see you instead of sending me to hell as you are an asshole. "
Alberto accepts that auction without even batting an eyelid, swallowing it whole nth sip of wine. Both remain silent, Rich purple with anger and venting broken in half and Alberto peaceful, staring at the hazy profile of Florence can be seen behind the frosted glass of the room. Sigh plan, placing the now empty glass, and turns it between his fingers thoughtfully. "What I intend to do here in Florence 'comments, pianissimo, stating something so obvious that it hardly seemed appropriate to say out loud, actually. "It is not none of your business as it is not anyone's business but me, I think." "It becomes my business when your business involves my friends. My friends. "Contends Richard, slamming his fist on the table and doing jump both glasses and even some other customer in the room. "Damn it, Albert, you thought of doing? Return to Florence and be greeted by a shower of flowers? Back in Turin, "she says, lowering his voice that he had not noticed until someone got up from the tables around, he turns toward them. "Do everyone a favor and go back to Florence just for the damn game."
Albert shakes his head, almost laughing to himself, even if it does not come to her lips a pale puff that sounds almost annoyed, Richard, in front of he straightens his back and stared at him, almost daring him, and Albert does not know how I can hold her gaze for so long without even a flower in remorse him, except for that dull pain and low that has spread as soon as he set foot in the city and which he interpreted as nostalgia of Florence itself, not of Fiorentina. But that's a pain that can put aside, if she closes her eyes and concentrated enough, can do it. "I repeat, Richard," she whispered, amused by the outburst of anger so unusual, and would almost embrace Richard, because he unconsciously increased his determination. "I do not think none of your business."
"And I repeat that it is." Richard speaks the same floor, but the anger is evident in the vibrant notes of his voice, which probably cost him an enormous effort to keep. Alberto sorry that his friend has responded well, but do not blame him, he understands the reasons, though for obvious reasons not share. "You have no idea how he reacted to the dressing room after your decision, since you are no longer wanted to come back and talk to us, then do not come to preach to me that you can not. You have no idea how it was painful for those who have taken your place to be in the midst of what you left and you have no idea,
have no idea, "she says, shaking his head. "How it was for us that we see you go. So believe me when I tell a friend that is not the case that you brought to light things that you buried. I say to you. "
" You say to yourself and the team, Richard, not me. "
Richard shrugs her shoulders, and this time he smiles.
"Does it matter?" Says, absent-minded. "It's good advice, really."
"You know I never loved the good advice, Richard." Albert laughs, this time, leave a note on the table which is enough to pay his glass, and also to Richard something more, then gets up. Richard looks at him to go away and does nothing to restrain him. Just saw him walk out the door, made a fast number and wait patiently for someone to respond.
is Adrian and unlatched the door of Stevan but if Albert is surprised by what should be a new, more that the only wearing pajama pants are not in any doubt, it is good enough to conceal any surprise.
"I wake him up." Comments only and do not need to say who. Adrian the team with a sullen look more than ever, ignoring the attempt of Albert hug and letting him hang himself with his jacket in the hall. Remains standing in front of him, arms folded, in total silence teams in detail, then sighs.
"We think Richard has before you." Says dry, regardless of the tone of his voice. "He felt that he should warn us that you were back in Florence for your unresolved.
'mumbles then, definitely not happy with the definition that has been assigned to him and others.
"It was resolved that the word I used to tell the truth." Alberto corrects him, raising an eyebrow. "I was told
suspended. "
" Oh, that changes everything. "Vein of sarcasm in the voice of Romania is unmistakable. "Kill the fatted calf, the prodigal son has returned. Your candid conscience could not bear to keep the weight in until tomorrow morning and you could not fail to awaken? "
" It's not what happened. "Albert points out. "I think you were awake even before I ring the bell, given how quickly I've opened. It seems to me, " continues, more quickly. "It's awake even Stevan, then smettiamoci to turn around."
"What you do not want to go around, Alberto?" Adrian continues to leave no room to go in the hallway, and Alberto has everything except the desire to pick a fight with him , with the knowledge to miss any comparison. "The fact that Stevan and I were sleeping together, the fact that - see what luck - you have the opportunity to solve two suspended in one go or something to which I have not thought of that?"
"For the first two things, yes." Alberto nodded without looking away from him, and without disguise a slight annoyance - annoyance that is sure to be the right to try, but he feels the same. "At least we have this cleared up."
"Well, since then we have clarified that about going to 'fuck off and get out of this house?" Adrian almost growls, immediately put on the defensive. "I want to go back to sleep, do not listen to the crap you have to say. So - "
" Adrian. "Stevan's voice suddenly interrupts the tirade of Adrian, and the boy appears from almost nothing behind Romania. The rests a hand on his arm, gently, and Adrian seems to find himself so suddenly his expression calm and leave behind the rigid tension that had a moment earlier, when he raises his hand to cover his and tighten it up.
"There was no need for you to come." Murmured floor, completely ignoring Alberto. "I would have thought of everything myself." Stevan shakes his head softly, and lets out a slight laugh, off, pretend. Only then lifts his face in the direction of Alberto, who struggle to read the signs on his face Stevan auction that also manages to conceal a lot better than the others he has encountered. Or perhaps, it is said to read the motion tired which settles on the jersey pajama Adrian, pulling a bit 'more down to cover as best clear skin of the thighs, it's just more evidence of others from all that situation.
"Hello, Albert." mumbles, speaking more to himself than he really like to explain why its conduct, to have any justification for what they are doing. "If you sit in the kitchen is the coffee. I do not know in Turin, but here in Florence are the three in the morning and I sleep. "
follows Alberto Stevan and Adrian in the kitchen without another word, and almost politely declines the offer of coffee Stevan. The boy instead takes a cup, add a little 'cold milk taken from the refrigerator and threw himself on the chair with the cup close to his chest as if to try to use it as a shield to not get hurt. Adrian joined him immediately, standing beside him, one hand on his shoulder, and Albert feels the first real pain in the chest close to see that things have not really changed since he left Florence without even a greeting, or rather have not changed the details: the important things have changed, rather, and this is who wants to solve once and for all, not having to go above.
'Well,' she begins Stevan, staring into his cup latte more than fixed Alberto, and Adrian strongest shaking his shoulder and will also rests the other hand, drawing it slightly to himself as he do love him as a shield , and addressed to Alberto and cold hard look. "What we owe this visit?"
Albert shakes his head softly, remaining for a second to look at them both - and watch as it all seems wrong, in his head, why would he have thought about going back to Florence and find so many changes.
"If you have nothing to say," the boy speaks softly, speak softly, and perhaps would have preferred to hear him scream like Alberto shouted Adrian and Richard, would have preferred to see him blush with anger and finally drive him home because
that would
was a resolution, whether or not the resolution that was suggested. Stevan is rather peaceful, too peaceful, and he is afraid that with her voice is very low, almost a whisper. "You can go? I sleep. "Insisted, her eyes are lowered on the cup and secure it a bit ', searching within a response or a bit' of strength to go on which has been diluted in there, and Adrian shook his head slowly. "Please, Alberto, we have nothing to say."
"Maybe I have something to tell me. To tell you. "Corrects him, but with less determination than he thought, that determination because he has already lost everything, and it is not a good feeling at all. "Maybe since I just arrived from London would be nice to hear what I say and not just throw it out." He mutters, more irritated than it should be.
"No one invited you, Alberto." Stevan smiled wearily, and Alberto can not hardly recognize him. "So, do not talk of what might be nice to do. Speak thou, then. "He adds, his voice even lower, tightening her fingers around the cup as to want to break up with one push, and Adrian is quick to get out of hand before it can actually happen.
"I speak, yes." Alberto Stevan raises his voice and raises his eyes from his hands, staring in the face for what is probably the first time since joining, fixing his eyes on those of Alberto with a bit of wonder . Alberto sees the anger fill them, after that moment of dismay, and her cheeks who earn a little 'color, and smiled bitterly. "I'm back to leave things as they are. " 'Oh,' fuck." Adrian exclaims, slamming his hand on the table before it can respond Stevan. "Alberto, go away. You are not welcome
. "Hisses, closer to losing patience with him than he ever did in all the years that you know, and Albert is surprised to see him involved at this point. She had never understood - or perhaps when he was in Florence was not something so obvious and evident, likes to think they have scored Stevan as his, at that time in Florence, and that Adrian is simply trying to remove those signs . "So, take the trouble before you hunt I kicked." "Adrian is right." Stevan talks about the new plan, that brief flash of anger disappeared suddenly, and Alberto wonders if it has not only imagined him in his hope of seeing something in her eyes more than a little of that emptiness' scares him, and his slow and gentle voice that glides, almost full of concern, as if trying to coax a frightened child. Alberto can not hate him, not even for that care, not for the fact that Stevan it better than anyone else has read and has understood how to treat it again, even after all this time, even after what has happened. The boy gets up slowly, sliding his chair back and just smiled at Adrian, how to reassure him. "Come, I'll take you to the door."
"Stevan -» Albert called for the first time his name, for the first time in three months - after an eternity
- and almost feel that you have forgotten how to pronounce it, so it sounds strange to her voice as it glides on those letters. Stevan passes by without stopping, without a sign of having heard him, and slips naturally out of the reach of her hand raised to stop him. This time when it is in the hall and the door is already open, and the cold of the night just to do it in one shudder shirt wearing pajamas.
"Go away, please." She whispers, suddenly too tired even to take that tone of voice unnaturally calm that has held up to that point. "You would not be had to go, Albert, for any reason, all the more reason for me. "
The last image is imprinted in the eyes of Albert, when they leave on the landing and turned back, is the sad smile of Stevan and shape Adrian standing behind him.
I need to talk. Alone.
Stevan down the screen of his cell and he bites his lip thoughtfully. Puts it back on the table, turning the screen against the wood so that the light does not disturb him, and try to sleep. He blames the cafe, when he can not. He prefers instead to ignore the fact that it is something else that keeps him awake, someone who can calmly give the blame when the phone still vibrates, making him jump slightly.
Please.
not a good idea. If he repeats it a few times for good measure, to be convinced that this is the case, yet closes his eyes and try to focus only on the breath of Adrian next to him and the warmth of his back pressed against his side. It is not a good idea at all, would be a good idea to turn off the phone, turning to Adrian and kiss again and fall asleep on him, how he was doing before that Richard called. Not a good idea, instead, take the cell phone in hand and study concentrated air those words written on the screen, no, it's not for nothing. Where?
Get out.
The answer came so quickly that Stevan does not even have time to rest the phone, but if you feel vibration through your fingers and remains motionless for a moment to contemplate that one word that has just arrived, and almost comes from laughing at the thought that Alberto can be truly been waiting all this time under his house, he did not even have the patience to wait when you are injured and had to escape before.
He gets up, trying not to wake Adrian, and is still standing beside the bed for a moment to look at him with a slight smile on his lips, to hold back the urge to bend down to kiss him on the forehead for not wake him, and rearranges the sheet him - he always had a nasty habit of taking all the blankets of the bed, but Adrian has never said anything, he never grumbled, rather he got up in the middle of the night to take a blanket for himself the closet - as he tries their clothes in the dark, stifling a curse when, in passing, comes up against the door jamb. Alberto is still in the car under the palace, and Stevan stops in front of the passenger door with no intention to climb. They look out from behind the glass, unable to determine which one is more tired of that comparison carried out more with silence than with words, with the silence that accompanied the last time in Florence, when Stevan was back at Christmas time just to be with him, and continued when Albert has gone off without looking back, and if he had no time for looking back, how could he have to talk?, So it's only the silence continued. Only at the end off the car and Albert agrees, pointing with a nod to the dark hallway of the building by Stevan.
"What are you, Albert?" Stevan does not care to modulate their voice, this time, and trigger the switch in time and turns to look at Albert, and his voice is just tired and angry and betrayed
; betrayed by him, probably because Stevan feels guilty for not having stayed in bed and have exposed the nth risk. "I thought the concept was clear." "I just want to talk to you. Only once. "
Stevan jumps, when the voice of Albert feels a weariness to his sister, and all absolutely identical to that streak hear the words we speak and impress every gesture he makes. He drops his arms to his sides, defeated, and only nodded, as if to give him permission to continue talking. He no longer wanted to that comparison, everything a shot. Indeed, he should not ever had one, and wondering how I managed to drag lasciarcisi,
stupid again.
"How long?" Asked Albert, finding a bit 'of its security - Stevan is there and is listening in some way, except that all the questions and the great speeches he had made in his head as he waited to see him go down (
knew that he would. Only he knew, even before answer him, because he knows, knows his light sleep and his ever being unable to say no) he is stuck in the throat and all I can do is say the dumbest and most useless application that could do, and even those Stevan may decide that a reason not to respond. Except that Stevan sighs, uncomfortable, and Alberto holds its breath at once.
"What do you care?" The only answer is another question, and one of those who
Alberto
may decide not to respond to reason. If it does, it is only because it seems the only way to get an answer to his, questions, and he has the answer suddenly a huge need, even if it only serve to once again hear the sound of the voice of Stevan. "I care."
Stevan shakes his head and shrugs, clearly unwilling to inquire further about the reasons for that request as well as on the reasons for that interview, feels the sudden need to run back in the room and not being able more, but remains motionless.
"Since You've Been Gone." Admitted, in a faint voice. "Adrian was the only one who had and understood - »
" And you were so close as to come into your bed. "interrupts Alberto, a puff with a very angry, and Stevan feel for a moment the urge to slap him and leave it there, leave without saying a word as well, such is the anger she feels for that single observation. Breathe deeply, and Albert must guess his irritation because it is silent and lets it continue.
"And I was close." Hisses, trying to calm his irritation. "And I waited, mostly. I've been looking for him. "Concludes, in a flash a little 'proud, proud even if he does not know what could be. Alberto remains silent, and the light goes off suddenly, leaving them immersed in the darkness, broken only by the thin strip of light entering the front door, the orange street light in front of the house. Stevan is extended to press the switch again, but Alberto's blocking the wrist between his fingers and squeezes until it hurt, and certainly leave a mark on him. Stevan does not see them, her eyes, but he feels his gaze upon himself the dense and dark, angry and disappointed, and would just scream that has no right to feel betrayed by him, because he has betrayed first. That he is gone, what he chose silence instead of words, looks full of anger instead of stroking, Torino instead of Florence. But when he opens his mouth to argue, all that comes out is a strangled cry of pain, and Albert does not appear to make less.
"I do not like it, Stevan." Stevan and would scream
wearing what? Would
scream how dare you?, How are you supposed to come back after that and -
, but Alberto pulls it to himself, still shaking his wrist, and kissed him without giving him time to respond, biting his lips and Stevan is misses only one strilletto because they lack the breath, because it is tightening Alberto too hard and hurt both wrists that is holding and it hurts even the back that has grated against the wall when which Alberto has made him tight. It also if the lips are those of Albert and the smell is that of Alberto and the body feels that press against her until imprimerglisi again in every fiber of his being is to Alberto,
that Alberto is not, can not be, Stevan not want it to be. "Albert -" moans, pressing against his chest to no avail - they played that way many times, is a game? It is a game, it must be, even if he does not want to play Stevan - than that of the mouth of Alberto slipping on his chin up and bites him, and then on his neck, clavicle, pushing the sweater Adrian Stevan he wore as if to tear him, biting and strong, here, strong enough to leave a mark that will surely also evident in the morning and the next and then who knows, we do not want to think Stevan. "Alberto, I beg you -"
"
Mio " Alberto growls against his face, and the words die in the throat while Stevan leans all her weight behind Albert, as if he had suddenly lost the forces stand up, and feel the tears sting her eyes so very annoying, because he thought to be over but it is not, and it's obvious to see well enough and stupid and sad at the same time. Stevan hates you for that. "I do not - should stay away."
"Alberto, please - 'Stevan it holds before begging, biting her lips to hold the prayers to let him go; Alberto bites him again, kissing her skin a moment later, as if even he knew exactly how to get around. He stuffs his hands under her sweater, recovering after a moment's hesitation his skin, which is as hot as he remembered, he did not remember the tremor that shakes Stevan completely, which is a bit 'of fear and a bit' cold - but more of fear among the thousands of more or less pleasant memories of Alberto, who maintains there is nothing that even remotely comes close to what's going on - but ignores it and continues, going forward along his chest and then around to her skinny hips, tightening his grip until it out a groan of pain. Stevan
struggle just a bit 'when Albert tries to undo his jeans, then just remains motionless, crying quietly, while the touch of Alberto and found nothing stays the same, are no longer under the covers of the chamber and there are no Alberto more laughter and kisses on the skin under his breath, bring him to orgasm in quell'accortezza Alberto was one of the things that he loved him, there's not Albert, because he seeks to exclude from his mind and from their feelings. Stevan only lets out a sigh when it comes, and Albert opens his eyes for the first time. touched his cheek wet of tears with his fingertips, perhaps even incredulous, Stevan lets you do, too devoid of any emotion to even try to resist even that light touch that seems to be the cruelest of blows, and continues to tremble like a child too scared to react. Alberto's still caressing his cheek, both cheeks, slowly follows the shape of the lips and brushes his teeth marks that have left, covers her eyelashes wet looking at the touch of fingertips to alleviate that pain and the sadness that has been to cause him. Stevan does not object even when it takes her face in her hands and attracts him to kiss him softly.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, pressing his forehead against her and breathing noisily, as if he was trying to hold back the tears. "I'm so sorry, Stevan."
Stevan not responding and closes his eyes, ignoring all his forces with those words, and ignoring also nice touches, almost in apology, that accompany those words. Alberto leaves him alone after a moment, after murmuring yet another excuse, and Stevan expects to be sure to be only to slip to the ground and burst into tears.
"There you put in time."
Stevan jolts on hearing the voice of Adrian at the same time it opens up the door of the room a quick glance confirms that the clock is actually spent nearly two hours since received Alberto's message, and is grateful that the shutters carefully lowered to prevent light to filter through, so Adrian can not see it. Stevan is a tiny smile, so as it slides under the covers back against his body, and the warmth of his arms that immediately surround it is enough to bring it back to the brink of tears.
"Sorry." Manages to whisper, the voice that remains strong in some way she talks. Stevan buries his face against the curve of the neck of Adrian, breathing up his scent. "Did I wake you coming back?"
Adrian shook his head, kissing his forehead and better accommodate the blanket around the shoulders of both him and pulls him.
"The Your phone has a vibration recognizable. "giggles and blushes violently Stevan; Adrian immediately becomes more serious, weighing the words carefully. You know that is a topic that is obviously wrong and does not know whether he is ready to risk damaging what he and Stevan have built for themselves, painfully. He takes a deep breath, gently stroking her hair and shoulders as he talks. "It was Albert?" Stevan nods, without another word, and Adrian sighs in a way so clear to do evil in the chest at heart level. Adrian is still a bit 'in silence, and Stevan took the opportunity to try to readjust his breath, shaping a new rhythm on that of Adrian. "What wanted? "the question is perhaps a bit out of 'more abrupt than Stevan did not want to hear, but the caress of Adrian on his skin that will not allow him to misunderstand his intentions. If there is someone with whom Adi is angry, he certainly is not: Alberto, more likely, or perhaps to himself he had not even been able to save this pain. Stevan remains silent for a long time before speaking, fear, hurt by Adrian in the first place and then again to hurt himself, that after everything that has happened it feels fragile like glass, ready to fall apart even under slight pressure of the strokes of Adrian. He took refuge in those touches like a child, rubbing her face against his hand gestures occupy whole minutes, and only after a while 'Stevan feels comfortable enough to continue talking.
"Apologize." He whispers, still pressed against him, and it's not a lie so big. Eventually, Alberto has apologized, and it was only an excuse for the evening and it still hurt, without any regard, this Stevan knows. Has not completely forgotten how to know him during those months, and indeed sometimes it seems that the distance has sharpened the perception that has always had of him. It happens in those moments when there is Adrian and he is left alone with my grief, that has never passed, and suddenly the security of what he is doing or Alberto thinking, even had the side. "He apologized for what happened." Adrian nods plan, and Stevan is happy that he accepted the lie and closes her eyes, immensely tired that night and the desire not only to wake again. But Adrian starts to speak.
"At least you've got an apology." Mumbles, clearly annoyed. "I do not even those. You see it was you, that he cared when he was here. " Stevan refrains from saying that it does not seem that things have never gone that way, he bites his tongue not to say that that apology would have preferred a thousand Sometimes not having them, seeing how they came, and that if this is the way in which Albert These people you really want good, then he would have preferred to be hated. It focuses on the hands of Adrian who have resumed their long caress his back and just trembles when his fingers touch the point of his hips where the hands of Alberto have entered more forcefully.
"He also spoke with you?" Whispers the other hand, as implied by the curious who read the words of Adrian, and his companion blushes suddenly, before nodding, and he remains silent before speaking. A Stevan do not like, those silences remind him of another person and another and another silent pain that even now, as recalled by the thought of Albert, arrives to shake his chest in a painful bite, as if he was going to break his ribs from the inside.
"He called a week ago." He explains, in a whisper. "Here at home, but I said. I told him I was not there and that did not suffer more because here there was more room for him. "Adrian misinterpreted the silence of Stevan, which is only permute against his chest without saying anything. "Stevan, I ... Sorry I told you. I thought it would be better, I mean - 'Stevan closes his eyes, realizing what will be the end of the speech. He does not know whether or not to be grateful to Adrian, and perhaps it should be really. "I know what you did wrong. I wanted to tell you, that night, but you were so quiet that I did not felt in any way of - "Adrian took yet another deep breath and shakes his face in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes as he finishes speaking, and blow those words hurt so much to him as to Stevan. "I just wanted to protect you. I'm sorry. "
Stevan remains motionless even after Adrian lets go and turns back, staring at the ceiling, but he remains on his side, curled up, and closes her eyes trying to think again. I'm , thinks with a sigh.
is only my fault, always ruin everything
, he says, closing his eyes. It is his fault that Alberto is gone - it must be so, because otherwise why would such a thing happen? - And it's his fault that Adrian is now evil, only sin that can cope with anything that does not by itself, without injuring and destroying the people around him. Should not have allowed Adrian to come near him so much, it was a mistake, and not for the jealousy of Alberto - which is good and evil together, a sweet and sour mix that has stood up to his stomach and must be neither up nor down - but for him, because he loves Adrian really well (it's really in love
), Stevan feels it in every gesture and every concern, but he can never really be totally his, because a piece of her heart is Albert left for Turin, though never admit high voice.
"Stevan?" Calls him Adrian, and Stevan smiles at the thought that Adrian has always called it, was Albert, what he called Ste. Adrian's nearest you, rising on his elbow for you to watch, Stevan, and closes his eyes to avoid incurring his eye. Adrian's hand slips on her cheek, very light. "Stevan, tell me something." Adrian whispered, drawing him closer to him and pressing against his chest, with a sigh. "You're sorry - to be with me, now that you've reviewed Alberto?"
Stevan closes his eyes, grateful that Adrian if you're squeezing against and that this makes everything easier.
"No, Adi." She whispers, even if it is a half-lie. But it is the most sincere lie a half that has managed to invent, he is not repentant because Adrian is the best person you could hope to find, looking for one thousand years could not find someone who can love him the same good that wants to Adrian, and especially willing to take responsibility for any consequences of coming after Albert, who has never hidden Stevan being
everything in a way even terribly wrong. Adi has never asked to forget: Adrian waited until he was ready to share that pain with him and simply occupied the place vacated by Alberto with such ease as to suggest that he had only waited for this moment to do so; Adrian agreed not to leave the winner in any confrontation with the past, and has done enough to win and those who could have put those together with Stevan and it did get better. Stevan is aware of this sweetness, for which I was really grateful, heartfelt, and he loves him and is happy at his side, and maybe even loves him, and his name calling when you need it, what he learned about loving and attentive and always ready to support it, to smile for him and with him. But despite this, Albert has never disappeared, it is always under his skin, his blood, in its very essence. "No, Adi, I'm not sorry about anything with you."
far as I can to hide the signs that Alberto has left him for a couple of days when he and Adrian are at home - is not difficult, for some reason Adrian
understand that Stevan did not want to be touched, and behaves accordingly without him but missed his affection even for a moment -, Stevan can not help but shed the following Monday to have new workouts. The boys say nothing - and how could they? It seems so normal, even while the blush of Stevan strips is anything but unusual, and only Richard asks him look longer and more concerned about the other - and Adrian was silent, although Stevan knows that he understood everything. Adrian did not target word the whole time, staying at his side without saying anything, almost without looking, but all that Stevan can read in his eyes, even now, is
pain. Not anger, not treason, just pain: pain is only the one leading Adrian to escape his touch when he reaches out to touch his arm, and after that time Stevan even more tries to touch him. It follows him quietly all the time, let him go without even for a second - it has already done it once, and it was like tearing his heart from his chest - and looks almost resigned that Adi start talking as soon as they are alone in the car. Adrian, in fact, remains silent, even at that time.
expected to be at home. Only then turns to him (and Stevan, in his eyes, unable to read what they have changed these past few months, and know that it has changed for him
hurts to know him as the injured for the umpteenth time) and stripping, but said nothing. Traces with his fingers the red marks on his chest and sides of Stevan, lightly caressing and making the boy shudder, that in front of the Putnam closes his eyes and makes it necessary to hold back the tears, because he has no right to cry, at that time.
"That was what he wanted, Alberto." Whispered Adrian, and pain in those words is enough to bring Stevan still on the verge of tears. Once again, Adrian did not impute any fault, preferring to take over full responsibility and all the pain, but this time Stevan is not willing to let them. "Why do not you tell me, Stevan?" She whispers, but this is not an accusation, only one regret. Stevan is allowed to cry a few tears, unseen, when Adrian turned his back and slams his fist against the wall. "You should tell me."
"I do not want to hurt you." Stevan chirping, but it's an excuse so weak and stupid to make him blush at the exact moment in which it ends up saying it, because it is so obvious that Adrian
is hurt, terribly hurt, right now, it seems only a colossal stupidity and he would not even thought of it, even if it's true - but the real truth or just another lie that he told to himself? 'Adi, I'm sorry. "
Adrian laughs. "I'm sorry." Blows, clasping her hands to keep from one another elongated in the direction of Stevan once again to dry the wet trails left by the tears on her cheeks - how many times he has, in recent months, when at night in his sleep, murmuring the name of Alberto crying without even realizing it? "Basically, I always knew you were mine, I had just slam the nose, to understand it really. "Adrian closed his eyes for a moment, sighs and leaving your arms still fall to his sides, not knowing what else to say. Stevan
breathe loudly, holding my breath for a moment those words - because they are true, in a sense, and they hurt, hurt to the extent that Alberto is not but it is as if there were, as if in Standing between them, divide them, one arm around the shoulders of Stevan to mark his tenure and his other hand stuck wide open on the chest of Adrian to keep him away. Stevan closes his eyes again, and this time starts to cry in earnest. Can you hear the hesitation of Adrian, although it is not looking, simply feels the way it changes the atmosphere of the room and let out small sigh, then I feel his arms around her very hot, and then crying even more because he does not deserve that kindness at all. "Why are you crying?" Adrian's softly kissed her forehead, as if afraid that it will go to pieces like the night he returned Albert, and a thousand other nights before that, when it seemed that even his love could at least partly alleviate the pain to have been abandoned. Adrian kisses him, and thinks he would not have him go, he would like to have him so soft and warm under your fingers would feel each day to cling to his fingers shoulders as if they were the last hold before falling on deaf ears, even if none of this is really his. Adrian Alberto hates as much as she loved before, and it is the tremendous natural and indeed it is the right thing to do, when they hear Stevan escape violence and must do almost on himself to keep talking. "I'm not mad at you, Stevan, I swear. If Alberto is - well, you have to go back to him. "Closes his eyes and tightens the floor, wiping her tears with his thumb, and down to softly caress his lips. "Do not worry about me."
"Adrian -" Stevan speaks softly, eyes closed, and Adrian greenhouse lips waiting for the blow, knows is coming. Maybe he always knew it would come, and that awareness has only hidden behind the longest caresses and kisses sweeter, trying to postpone it and praying that Alberto never return to take it back, he was so good with Stevan that he only wanted to stop time not to miss even a moment of that perfection. Stevan but still cries and throws her arms around his neck, hiding her face against his chest as he never did - as the first did with Alberto
- and secure it so that he almost hurt. "I do not want to go back to him." Stevan laughs softly, embarrassed, tears shining on the sides of that shy smile that presses against the sweater Adrian looking for consolation and understanding and, once again, love, and continues to speak softly, without feeling entitled to do so. "I want to stay with you."
Adrian remains motionless and silent at these words, and Stevan just trembles, terrified. Knows that she has exaggerated this time and has the impression that Adi will not forgive him, not this time, not so great for those lies, not for having betrayed his trust in a way so stupid and childish. "Stevan not need you to mint, I swear." Adrian speaks softly against his temple, his lips tickling the skin to each letter and its warm breath that moves the hair. "I do not need it, I'm strong enough to let you go and be there when you need it again, if you want. "continues, and every word is a wound for both -
tiodiotiodiotiodio, Alberto
, Adrian would just scream, and would like to go back to being a child than to burst into tears weakness absurd. "Even if I had to be a second choice, I'll be there."
"I love you." Stevan says no more, and do not even know if it is really a response to what Adrian has just finished telling him - has just finished putting his heart in his hand, as it always has to be approached him, as the night they were simply watching a movie and he whispered in the ear "I like you" and it was left to look for Stevan, sliding closer and kiss him softly in response to his words. Stevan knows only that it is the only thing I can say and think, even before the wide-eyed and surprised that Adrian looks at him and does not understand, as he shakes a bit 'stronger. Before I can respond
Adrian, Stevan stretches and kisses him, shaking his head and pulling him for a kiss so long that it almost seems to forget himself completely. Adrian still pressing against it so hard for him to crack the bones, and when he does so only to tap away the bruises that still left him with Alberto Stevan, this time with the right open hand to stroke the curve the clavicle, chest and hips, and Stevan seems that only those with the signs begin stroking a bit 'to fade, do not delude themselves that they can completely disappear, but suddenly seem lighter and less painful while Adrian lifting it up and squeezes him, pressing her face against his chest and take a liberating laughter that is tremendously well to both. "Tomorrow I call him, I swear, we talk." Stevan promises, his face buried in his hair and eyes that are filled with tears again, so embarrassing, and Adrian nods plan. Puts it back on the ground, twisting his fingers with hers, and then kisses him again.
Alberto Adrian meets halfway up the stairs to the apartment Stevan, the Rumanian seems to pass by without even worth a look, almost did not exist, but it grabs him by the sleeve when Alberto salt two steps at a time, tipping the scales back with violence. "Try to hurt him again," hisses, pulling him to look into his eyes as he talks. "And I'll kill you. It is not rhetoric, Alberto, I'll kill you really. "Let him go only when Albert nods with an expression halfway between the dramatic feeling vexed by this treatment and the actual fear of that threat. Adrian settles his jacket around her shoulders and starts to go down the stairs without turning more than a glance.
Stevan is in the living room, Alberto enter the apartment when the door gently pushing Adrian, leaving, left ajar for him. Stevan is curled up on the couch, wearing a sweatshirt too large for her petite frame, a sweatshirt of Adrian, and clasping his knees with his arms and shakes. Alberto is the doorway for a moment, undecided, and try to sketch a faint smile.
"Hey." Calls him, in a whisper, and Stevan would not want to feel your heart miss a beat as it does. Alberto makes a couple of steps toward him, then stop when you see him shake again, and sighs. "You called me." Stevan nods, weakly, and tilts his head sideways to see the entire Albert, to embrace the entire figure framed by the doorway. "Here I am."
Stevan not know how to tell him. Does not even know how to say it himself, because it's too complicated, in his head, yet at the same time terribly linear in its entirety. He closes his eyes for a second, holding the fear that Alberto has yet to review the edited version that has terrorized, when he lifts his arm to move the hair from his eyes, even the sweatshirt slipped lower, showing for a moment purple sign is left on her skin, and feels Alberto Stevan hold your breath. "Here." Blows, embarrassed, searching for words and rearranging quickly on the sweatshirt, pulling it up to neck. "I was not sure he'd come."
Alberto bites his tongue before you can say
I have always come when you called me
, because it would be the biggest lie that could tell you right now because he is gone and even if you do not regret having done so - not with the emblem of the badge sewn on the chest almost - the dull pain he feels in his chest since he arrived in Florence is still there, throbbing, and now it hurts more than ever, while Stevan closes his eyes and bows his head in front of him, torturing his lips (while he, lips, kiss them and would only hear the hard way). It drops down on the chair in front him, turning for you to watch really, fearful and extends a hand toward him, resting on the knee. Stevan feel startled, that gesture, but does not raise his hand, gently moving the fabric of his shorts he wears to be able to touch the scars that remain from the transaction, pianissimo, as if only with the personal touch that knee could go really bad condition place - because Stevan still does not run, yet he can not, as Manetti told him a million times that the knee, now, it's very healthy, so the pain must be all in his head.
"It is a farewell, this, right?" Murmured, his face still down and a grimace of concentration absurd on his lips as he continues to stroke up the knee, and Stevan nods before realizing that Albert can not see it.
"Yes" is blowing, the voice that cracks and then breaks into a sob, barely restrained, and Alberto laughs softly.
"I had to guess." Murmurs to himself, tightening the grip for a moment on the knee of the boy who holds his breath but does not say much. "Richard was right, I should not even come." Stevan closes his eyes to avoid seeing his face because, you know, Alberto is crying silently, and do not need confirmation from the drops that warm feeling on your skin to fall again when Alberto rubbing his knee, is only one of those perceptions, now knows for sure, they were all accurate, in every moment of those months. Stevan closes his eyes not to see either the face or signs of Adrian Albert around him, and stretches afraid to kiss him. Alberto
remains motionless, his lips when he hears of his search for Stevan and his thin arms allacciarglisi neck as he always did, as if he had never stopped doing it. Stevan kisses him, and everything seems to go back to another life - because those were the three months have been another life but now it seems the only parallel to that of Florence, and wonders why everything seems so complicated and he just wants that warmth around his neck and his lips would remain forever, never fade, because it seems that those months in Turin, that his other life, they were just cold and foggy and empty
. Stevan kisses him, and Alberto remains motionless. Stevan leaves, undecided, and only then Alberto reacts and if it pulls back against, sinking his fingers into her hair at the side of the face and holding it against him, kissing him softly and trying to find in that kiss that he has lost and, you know, now will never get back, because he lost and Stevan Stevan Adrian is now, not his. "This I regard it as, Ste?" Blows, trying to control the tremor in thin voice that seems to make it terribly fragile, ready to break with every word - Stevan just smiled, feeling the call that way again, and stifles the pain that the presence of Alberto is bringing to light again.
"My parting gift." Murmured, resting his forehead against his and kissing him again, sliding soft in his arms and his legs, sitting in a plot a bit 'weird. Alberto hugs, gird your back because they can not fall much less leave, and softly rubbed his nose against her before going down to kiss him on the neck, pushing the tee this time gently and kissing where his mouth there, a few nights before , has left marks that are only now pointing to disappear. Stevan sobs that gesture, and pulled against Alberto and only continues to breathe on him, and the pain those acts bring to light is not abandonment, but of the consciousness of having lost what was there before without ever really forgotten because all acts of Alberto's look natural as if it had not passed a single day since he went away, and it is as if that was the greeting that should have been given three months earlier. It is late, Alberto, as it always was.
"Let's go to your room." Stevan whispers, his lips pressed against her forehead, and Alberto remains motionless. "Please." Then added, and are clear the words get stuck behind his thin lips -
not want it that way, the last time, I want to be special and that is our
. Alberto there holding it against him almost like a bride without stopping for a second kiss and waving because it is not
her child, but a man. Stevan
closes his eyes, when Alberto drop it on the bed and follows him, and he opens them a moment later with the bizarre fear of being abandoned, but Albert is standing there beside the bed with an expression of the limits 'adoring face, and slowly undressing in front of his eyes, as if every inch of skin that was discovered only her completely, and Stevan dries the mouth as she goes with the look neat and well defined lines of his chest and his stomach, sliding down her legs with jeans that Alberto lower ankle before kick off. Taste the same skin when Albert finally reaches him on the bed, accostandoglisi plan as if it disappear at any moment, and then takes him in her arms and puts it on him, stripping him even with the same calm that has granted itself, give that time to imprimerselo thousand times more memory. Alberto
kisses him softly and slides along the contour of the face and jaw to the neck, and Stevan wants to cry for those attentions, as well as want to cry for what are the kindness, but it's a pain so great and so deep, what he feels push them behind the eyelids, which can not even cry. Alberto strokes his entire back, stopping where it merges with the curve of the buttocks semi-hidden by the sheet, and all that Stevan can do even now is to cling to his back and hiding her face against his chest, hoping and praying that once again Alberto understand. And Alberto
course, as always - why, what did you expect? Alberto has always understood - and if it holds up against him and kisses him as he enters into him with the same calm, going even to the bottom and remain motionless - Captures that feeling inside, that way he Stevan to rally around him and the expression on her face, squeezed her eyes not to see him looking as if they could do just as well, that separation - before starting to move , and each thrust Stevan sobs louder, burying her face against his bare chest and bursts into tears when Albert takes to stroke it between her legs, with the same care that has always had, every time.
Alberto is whispering your name and kissing him again, longer, until they become completely miss the breath, and only then moves away to a palm and look at the face of Stevan, upset by his orgasm, and stroking the tip finger with an affection that has the embarrassing, tracing the outline of his lips a bit 'swollen. Stevan leans against his chest, shyly hiding her face wet with tears in his hands, and Alberto's only encircles the shoulders and remained silent in order not to shorten the time together that already seems to have lasted too little.
"I wish there was snow." Stevan whispers, out of nowhere, fixing his eyes on the sunlight coming through the window. Alberto looks at him, questioning, waiting for it to continue to talk about himself, but remains silent Stevan. She takes a hand between her own, studying concentrated in the hands of Alberto as if there should be some hidden secret, and begins to stroke the palm with the thumb.
"We're in May." Albert points out, in one breath, and Stevan shrugs. "Why?"
"It has always seemed to make it less painful goodbyes." Stevan whispers, holding yet another hiccup, Alberto and closes his eyes and prevent crying, cursing a thousand times for having asked that question. Buried his face in her hair, breathing in the scent up and saying it's the last time he can do it, and this awareness hurts most of the rest. "You can come to Turin when you want." Blows, shaking his head and he feels it in his grasp, his hair tickling his bare chest in that embrace. "For you there's always room. "
" I will not come, Alberto. "Stevan sighs, shaking his hand against his chest. "And you do not come back."
"Stevan -»
The boy shakes his head, turning to look into his eyes, grabs his face in his hands and kisses him softly, remaining close to his lips as he continues to speak.
"I love you." She whispers, and closes his eyes to see a tear run down the face of Alberto. "I still love you and will not stop it, but I will not come."
Alberto nods - it's always painful to understand that and will continue to do so, even when they have been so long separated by not having anything in common apart from those two years together in Florence in their curriculum - and kisses him softly, the last time (longer than the previous, more intense of the previous, more painful than the previous ones, their farewell, last) before leaving from him and put on without saying a word, her back to him as if in that way could ignore the throbbing pain he feels inside - which is not nostalgia for Fiorentina, Florence is not nostalgia, it's just nostalgia of Stevan and nothing more.
"The Challenge to Turin is still valid at any time." He whispers again, before leaving. "When you like, even though it should be for a fight with Adrian, I'll be there." The door closes behind him before Stevan yet to respond.
Stevan Adrian feels fall and remains motionless for a moment, sitting on the bed. He again wearing his sweatshirt, but the smell of the fabric Alberto is so clear and its skin to make her seem almost alien even to him.
"Stevan?" Is heard to call, a note of genuine concern in his voice, and after a moment's hesitation he gets up and runs from him.
I Could wait around for the dust to still, But I do not believe That it ever will.
(Hurricane - The Hush Sound)
"I'm not a baby," yelled, crossing her arms around his chest - behind him, Lorenzo holds a laugh and does not fail to point out to him that is totally